The People Who Wrote Me Off

“What would you prescribe to someone facing constant job rejections?”
“Venting to a friend for the heart, healthy distractions for the mind… and watching parliamentary debates on YouTube for confidence.”

I once had a long spell of unemployment that was part calculated and part miscalculated. It was quite a dark phase, for all the obvious reasons.

Job hunting entails an exhausting cycle that often runs on repeat. Filling out outrageously long application forms (which sometimes require you to write your personal gospels on life), working on assignments, appearing for interviews, and then getting a rejection email that essentially says, "we don't like you, but don't you lose hope because someone else might."

I spent a huge part of it being sad and demotivated. But there were times when life (and coffee) nudged me to put on a light, humor-tinted lens, so I could see there's more to bad phases than crying in dark rooms.

And so, whenever the torment of repeated rejections became too much to bear, I tried a change of scene. Instead of looking at my unworthiness, I focused on the very people behind those rejection emails. Not exactly to curse them (though I did a fair amount of that as well), but to see if they can tickle my funny bones.

There were some who succeeded.

The One With Fairytale Checklist
I was once interviewed by a department head who closely resembled the prince from the Cinderella story. Not in looks, but in spirit. If you don’t fit the glass slipper, tough luck being the bride. He was searching for a very rigid set of skills and experiences. He sarcastically dismissed a lot of my previous work as poor, simply because it didn't fit his business model.

There was no room for discussion; just questions with one correct answer to each, if you can crack it. Interestingly, his insults were so cleverly wrapped under his gentle demeanor, that even I bought into his narrative. It took me a few days to realize that no matter how unskilled I may be, an interview shouldn't leave me feeling so humiliated. But then I thought, it was his kingdom, his rules, and democracy isn't a universal dogma yet.

The One With Socratism
During yet another tiring cycle, a CEO interviewed me in the final round. And honestly, I related to him a little too much. For one whole hour, he discussed morality, existential crisis, and the darker corners of human psychology, never once touching on the job role. He was so carried away that, at times, he'd put forward his opinions quite aggressively.

But I get it. I, too, crave philosophical conversations, sometimes desperately. I figured it was one of those days for him, and unfortunately, my interview schedule had interrupted his soul-search. However, this time, for a change, I rejected him.

The One With Dad Complex
I met another CEO, quite aged. Although I had passed the technical interview with flying colors, he wasn't impressed. He seemed too invested in dissecting my unconventional career trajectory, like why on earth I ever opted for freelancing instead of a full-time job.

Classic dad-syndrome. The script for success had already been written and approved, and deviation was blasphemy. Unfortunately, I couldn't argue with him like I do with my Dad. Ironically though, he ended up asking me for some career advice for his son, who was pursuing the same degree I had once chosen. I did enlighten him on that part.

The One Who Was Over the Moon
There was another interviewer, amicable, respectful, and very excited about his project. Ten minutes into the interview, he began a passionate monologue about all the good work he was doing, which continued till the very end. The whole thing felt more like an investor pitch than a job interview.

I came to know that after working as a professor for a long time, he had started something new. His excitement was palpable. But we mutually agreed that our collaboration wouldn’t fare well at this point, mostly because honorary work won't pay all of my bills.

The One With All Love
I was also interviewed by a couple of bots. They were mostly pleasant and very appreciative. They boosted my confidence like anything. I suppose it was only the confused, indecisive people at the next level who couldn't see my potential. No wonder the world is falling in love with ChatGPT.

The One Racing Against Time
There was another company where the job role required leading the brand voice with good writing. But their very first screening round was a typing speed test. I was baffled, but I was more unemployed, so I gave the test anyway. I passed, just marginally on speed (words per minute), but scored 100% on accuracy (the margin was 80%). I had never been prouder of a barely passing score.

Honestly, I would have been ashamed had I scored higher in speed, compromising the spelling/word accuracy even by 1%. I couldn't dare imagine my favorite brand advertising, "Satan coming your way to deliver your Christmas gift." I'd be terrified, and so would Santa. Nevertheless, the company ghosted me. It seems to be the new rejection trend these days.

There are so many more stories I could write about. But the bottom line is, what qualifies me as worthy or unworthy is often just people. Human beings who are somewhat flawed and somewhat biased, just like me. It sure breaks my heart when they come in the way of something I want so badly. But a lot of times, they are just one of many unpredictable variables in what we like to call destiny.

So, do I always need to take them so seriously?